Updated: Jul 23
I thought I would write a little bit this week about something most of us have heard from our parents and if you have teenagers have definitely hollered yourself! 😂
This time though I am talking about literally watching all parts of your language, not simply the occasional f-bomb or gratuitous use of much beloved vernacular.
The words we choose to speak both to ourselves and to others, builds active and responsive neurological pathways that program how we feel which ultimately programs how we think and act. Remember, all actions are first ignited by an emotion followed by the thought that made the decision to do something! Understanding this masterful sequence of events is the alchemy to changing our perspective on life - and ultimately - our reality.
Here are my three tips to change how you experience your life - NOW.
1) Practice Clean Language
Have you ever thought about the gamillion (NOT a real word) sources by which we learn and adopt our language from? It's an unending stream perhaps by family, friends, collegues, professions, media, music, movies, work culture, comedians etc. it just keeps continuing to the point where - we are on autopilot.
Most often the language we adopt has been cultivated based upon a certain degree of mimicry, highlighting the old addage of being mindful of the company you keep! Negative language has been shown to have a direct impact on the body, vibrates at a much lower energy level and in itself is naturally not an efficient forward-thinking tool for change. Sometimes simply becoming consciously aware of what we are saying and changing the word can make a huge difference to how we perceive thing.
Here are some examples, which do you prefer?
But ("I'd like to do that but I have no time"). OR And ("I'd like to do that and perhaps we can find another time)
Hard ("This assignment is so hard, I'm exhausted). OR Easy ("This assignment isn't easy and I am going to take a rest")
Scared ("I'm scared that I might lose my job"). OR Wondering. ("I'm wondering about new job opportunities.")
Realizing these examples are not within proper context - it is easy to see at a high level how lifting the language can produce different feelings and perspective by removing the use of negative words. Not only does removing and reframing negative words change the way in which you communicate with yourself and others, I encourage you to watch how others react to a newly expanded lexicon of positivity and openess.
Now you! Start by becoming aware of the types of negative words you use a lot, and pick your top 3. Find ways to replace how you use your language and begin to build a new vocabulary for yourself!
2) Practice How You Want to Feel Instead
I think it is pretty safe to say that generally speaking, we are experts when it comes to practicing the negative stuff. Whether it's an old memory of something that makes your stomach drop, a person that still pisses you right off or simply an old familiar way in which we choose to define ourselves (e.g. I suck at math) - negative language surrounds the ways in which we create and design our life. Go ahead and see for yourself how easy it can be to whip up a negative feeling...
While choosing different words can immediately open up options and allow you to see things from a different (or multiple perspectives) - choosing the way in which we want to feel has profound effects on our neurology and changes our decisions to ACT.
When was the last time to actively began to practice how you want to feel? Practicing what it is to feel a sense of freedom, safety, abundance, love and inner peace is essential to programming your mind and literally giving it a map for forward motion. If these emotions are not familiar to you, you are certainly not alone. So - the way to get around a lack of familiarity with these feelings is to imagine what it would be like to feel like that. By doing this you are training your mind and body to follow a feeling that is much more productive with a far higher energy pattern - taking you into more contentment and clarity in your life.
Now you! When your feet hit the floor each morning on waking up, how would you like to feel. Pick the one strongest emotion (and remember...it is how YOU feel not how someone else 'makes' you feel). Now, practice feeling that way. Find pictures, use your imagination, identify words or adjectives that add sensory to the juiciness of how you plan on feeling every minute, of every day in your life. Practice until just the mere mention of the word creates a sense of calmness and ease.
3) Practice a Sense of Discipline
People who know me, know about my adherence and respect for personal discipline. I know that word make cause varying reactions in some, however for me discipline is an act of self-respect and self-love. It is an agreement between me and me, and acknowledgement and knowing what is good for me and what is not.
Often times we want the quick list, the instructions to get what we want and simply throw enough time, money and effort into it to make it go away. Well - I have never really found this to ever work. Except for new roofs, taxes or the dentist.
Changing your life takes WORK. Finding a way to shake up your pattern, think differently, live differently, be influenced differently is not only defined by what you are willing to do. It is defined by what you are not willing to do, and this is where personal discipline plays a lead role in carrying you across thresholds of change.
Fortunately language is something that can be easily changed at any moment of any day, giving you the opportunity to reinvent yourself and have a fresh start in a split-second! This is really powerful stuff and is one of the foundational components that make NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) so successful in supporting the release of limiting beliefs, traumas and negative emotional states.
You will be success simply by taking your self-discipline seriously, being consistent, respecting small commitments to yourself, changing your language and really putting heartfelt effort to it.
Now you! Choose one new way in which you are going to be disciplined in changing your language and self-talk. Enable it, tell people about and watch how you inspire them simply by using a different way of communicating. This is a wonderful game with kids! For instructions on playing the 'Word Switch Game' please email me and I would be happy to pass that along to you.
To support this work, please check out my hypnosis Building Optimism & Happiness available for .mp3 download in my Mindpower store or contact me for a 1:1 session
Wishing you all much love, light and success 🌈
Chantell Tunney, RHC, C.Ht., MNLP, DSHomMed
With over 20 years of clinical experience in health and mental wellness, I specialize in facilitating the removal of the limiting beliefs and negative emotions that get in the way of living life to its fullest expression.
As a board certified clinical Hypnotherapist, Master NLP Practitioner, trained Homeopath and registered Health Coach I integrate a variety of tools and techniques that support lasting change. To complement my practice, I draw from my experience as both a healthcare executive and clinician.
In addition to private practice I work with corporate clients and community partners as a facilitator, educator, speaker and writer specializing in using communication and self-awareness as the buiding blocks for inevitable success.